I am a horrible business owner. Literally I’m the last person who you would have thought would run a business. I’m disorganized. I’m forgetful. I suck at not making mistakes. The busier my business gets the more mistakes I seem to make.
I’ve been doing better double-checking myself this spring, but the past couple of weeks I have made 2 incredibly costly mistakes, and I had one piece break that I had to refund (which I don’t count as a mistake, but it’s still incredibly disheartening and costly).
And it’s painful! It’s embarrassing! It’s upsetting. If I didn’t absolutely HAVE to make money, I’d probably feel like quitting. Since that’s not an option, I have to pull myself up, strategize ways to keep myself from shooting myself in the foot, and keep selling my toys and myself, even though I am ashamed of me right now.
Since I don’t have a choice to quit my business (and honestly, of course, I wouldn’t want to even if I could), I have to fight through the depressed-“what’s the point when I screw everything up?!?!?”-feeling, and just keep working until it goes away.
And that’s a good way to keep going with anything that you feel like giving up on. You could give up on eating healthfully, when you have a weekend of excess, but if you force yourself to eat healthy food again, even if you feel like eating junk, you’ll get back to preferring the healthy fare to the junk.
Becoming depressed has many causes, but when you are depressed, you stop engaging in healthy habits. You stop socializing, often you eat sporadically and of the wrong foods. You stop doing the things you love; the things that could pull you out of a (minor) depression.
Many people when trying to start a business give up too soon, especially if it’s a side job or an etsy/ebay type business. They get down on themselves and go back to their old job, and maybe conclude they just aren’t cut out to run a business.
Presumably most people give up when trying to change unhealthy eating habits (that’s why there are so many unhealthy people out there). They determine that it’s too hard. That they just don’t like vegetables, and they give up.
The same thing happens when people try to exercise. That’s why exercise is such a New Year’s cliche. Exercise is hard (that’s sort of the point), and at some point, you won’t feel like it. You could give up, or you could force yourself to just do 15 minutes, instead of your usual 30 minutes. Or 10 minutes or 5 minutes. Even though it seems awful and abhorrent to move and sweat, if you start doing it, you’ll realize that it’s not that bad.
This morning, when I got a message about the broken toy, I just wanted to crawl back into bed, pull the covers up and go back to sleep. Or zone out in front of a good TV series so I wouldn’t have to hear myself think. But I pulled up my boots, plugged in my headphones, and went out to work. I said I’d just do 15 minutes, and then come in for breakfast. But once I was out there, I finished up what I wanted to do, and it wasn’t so bad.
Writing this blog is like that too. I have to overcome the voice in my head that says I have nothing worthwhile to say, no one is listening, and if they are listening they are incredulous that I acutally bother to get out of bed in the morning. But then I write, and post, and I feel like I’ve accomplished something (even if it is just thumbing my nose at that mean, old bitch in my head).
Now I’m going to play Dutch Blitz and try to forget how much money I’ve cost myself this month.
Lunch-6 inch veggie sub sandwich – no cheese on a wheat roll and pineapple and banana and dates
Dinner-spinach curry with rice (I remembered!) and whole wheat homemade pita bread
Workout-ran for 25 minutes while the curry was cooking
Work done-cut and dremeled 10 airplane teethers, sanded 5 teethers, and I’ll probably do another 5 before bed